i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize