somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
third nipple confirmed
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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