he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just found puke in my bra..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
