Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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