Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
