you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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