You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
