I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just had sex on a roof
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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