ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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