I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
