i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
what the fuck happened to the tacos
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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