my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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