It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize