i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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