A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
