Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
