I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
