I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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