dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
