why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
