He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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