Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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