i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
