I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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