I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
