spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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