he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i believe in u and ur pee
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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