I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
