Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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