Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
