I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
