I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
