bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
