Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
