So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
