Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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