I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
