he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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