Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it glows. i had to have it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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