$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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