A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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