if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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