office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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