Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize
