I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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