I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
