Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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