what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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