i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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