yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
