Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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