Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
