cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Randomize
