Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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