Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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