remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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