hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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