Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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