Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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