i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
