all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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