felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
