I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
